STARRY NIGHT (excerpt)

A minimalistic improvisation by:
Mazen Kerbaj / trumpet
The Israeli Air Force / bombs

Recorded by Mazen Kerbaj on the balcony of his Beirut flat on the night of July 15 to 16 2006.

Expected review in the New York Times arts section: “Mr. Kerbaj joins forces with the IAF in a fascinating experimental meditation on the human condition. One hopes these two fine artists will soon play together again.”

The Guardian reports that Sir Simon Rattle — whom I like as a conductor, notwithstanding that he reminds me of the chap who had him knighted — is falling from grace with the patrons of the august Berlin Philharmonic:

The critic said that the novelty of having Rattle as conductor had worn off. “We are well acquainted with his dashing gestures, we’ve seen through his permanent expression of ecstasy, which has curdled in the meantime into a mask,” he said. “We know his tricks and mannerisms.” He went on: “There are no real challenges and no genuinely expanded horizons.”

Did I mention that he reminds me of Blair? Anyway, it’s the following that raised my eyebrows in this article (emphasis added):

The article goes on to paraphrase the BPO chairman Jan Dieselhorst thus:

On behalf of the world’s Brucknerians, I have to ask: Excuse me, but what the hell? Are the Germans plotting to avenge the Austrian appropriation of Beethoven and Brahms by taking off with Bruckner now?

All hail Lordi, the winners of yesterday’s 2006 Eurovision Song Contest! Capturing the protest vote in the 51st europop kitschfest, the creatures from the vast Finnish forests rocked to sensational victory with their performance of the Alice Cooper-inspired “Hard Rock Hallelujah.” Their all-time record score ended a national trauma for Finland, whose strongest showing in the dreaded competition was heretofore a sixth spot in 1973.

Lordi — the burly lead vocalist whom the press has dubbed “the Bat out of Helsinki” — welcomes the uplifting lack of prejudice against those with fangs, horns, red eyes, and retractable wings. The other band members are Amen the Unstoppable Mummy, Enary the Manipulative Valkyrie, Kalma the Biker Zombie from Hell, and Kita the Alien Manbeast with the Combined Strengths of All the Beasts Known to Man.

Asked by a reporter if the band will ever take off the masks, Lordi replied: “What masks?”

Here is the music video for the winning entry, featuring a commendable turning of cheerleaders into zombies: Hard Rock Hallelujah.

Hyva Suomi — and long live the will to be different!

PS. Equally, if less deliberately, monstrous and entertaining is this Finnish 1980s music video with a dance routine suggesting the Heaven’s Gate sect doing aeorobics on LSD. A must-see!

Crossposted from European Tribune.

They say his music boosts your IQ and makes cows produce more milk. I don’t know if this is true, let alone whether he is the “greatest” composer ever. But the unbelievable legacy of the world’s only posthumous pop star speaks for itself!

In a book cheesily entitled Mozart and the Wolf Gang, written for a previous anniversary, Anthony Burgess — who himself was trained as a composer — muses thus:

We often forget how recent is Mozart’s place in the trinity of “all-time greatest,” alongside Bach and Beethoven. It was secured in the post-WW2 era, before which he was mostly thought of as an opera composer. Also, it owes deeply to conductors like Böhm and von Karajan striving to make of Mozart what he isn’t: a Grand Heroic Symphonist in the Teutonic mould. It’s funny to hear these recordings now, when more authentic performances informed by historical research are the ideal. But it says a lot about this music that it remains so stylish even when shoehorned into an alien romantic form.

Burgess concludes:

Today the world is celebrating Mozart’s 250th anniversary. Far better than fireworks is the exuberant final movement from the “Jupiter.”

Update: downloads now closed.